Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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