nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
