Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
