i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Small penises have feelings too.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize