Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
