she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
