wakey wakey hands off snakey
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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