I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
