Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
