I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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