Sry I called you an 8
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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