in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
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