So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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