I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
