I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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