Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize