My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
