just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
