I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
