they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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