I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
