i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
