I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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