We won't sleep together?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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