no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
