weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
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