yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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