There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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