no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You smell like stripper and shame
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize