I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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