Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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