You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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