He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
