I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
