What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
