sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
foreskin is a definite game changer
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
