What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize