Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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