I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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