I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
