I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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