I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
