I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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