Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She even gives head with a lisp.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
