I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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