i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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