i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize