ADVERTISEMENT

• (562): View more from California

  omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.

  Fav 292 30463 14103

  share tweet
  

• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...

  Fav 22 3092 1090

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (540): View more from Virginia

  he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride

  Fav 34 21277 2201

  share tweet
  

• (408): View more from California

  Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.

  Fav 19 3536 1192

  share tweet
  
• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.

  Fav 9 2562 1164

  share tweet
  

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.

  Fav 3 1732 798

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (705): View more from Ontario

  You sprinted into the side of a parked car

  Fav 0 1140 581

  share tweet
  

• (212): View more from New York

  last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.

  Fav 10 1288 664

  share tweet
  

• (562): View more from California

  I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.

  Fav 9 1018 562

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (404): View more from Georgia

  Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me

  Fav 6 1479 585

  share tweet
  

• (850): View more from Florida

  So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street

  Fav 3 939 620

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (330): View more from Ohio

  I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now

  Fav 0 559 463

  share tweet
  

• (206): View more from Washington

  cake and sex. what better combination is there.

  Fav 2 182 71

  share tweet
  

• (970): View more from Colorado

  my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day

  Fav 0 55 9

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (702): View more from Nevada

  Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.

  Fav 0 14 43

  share tweet
  

Randomize