508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.