Texts From Last Night

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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.

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  (434): Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am. http://tfl.nu/f8a0
  Replies (19) Good night (3401) Bad night (724)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  how was your night?

  (212): View more from New York

  well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?

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  (609): how was your night? (212): well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was? http://tfl.nu/mtku
  Replies (24) Good night (1363) Bad night (4246)
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  (760): View more from California

  Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that

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  (760): Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that http://tfl.nu/izum
  Replies (75) Good night (1093) Bad night (5931)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar

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  (732): i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar http://tfl.nu/z6xf
  Replies (9) Good night (3362) Bad night (935)
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  (716): View more from New York

  i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?

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  (716): i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know? http://tfl.nu/fcdy
  Replies (7) Good night (1167) Bad night (4057)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover

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  (847): I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover http://tfl.nu/981k
  Replies (7) Good night (2766) Bad night (1015)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.

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  (+44): If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong. http://tfl.nu/d9uh
  Replies (26) Good night (1036) Bad night (6383)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy

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  (901): Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy http://tfl.nu/xs8r
  Replies (7) Good night (2456) Bad night (945)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.

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  (202): Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful. http://tfl.nu/bz9e
  Replies (7) Good night (3311) Bad night (1167)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either

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  (902): He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either http://tfl.nu/fc5z
  Replies (5) Good night (2952) Bad night (985)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision

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  (702): Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision http://tfl.nu/1pgb
  Replies (21) Good night (4808) Bad night (750)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron

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  (509): i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron http://tfl.nu/ihph
  Replies (15) Good night (2042) Bad night (1178)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better

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  (519): I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better http://tfl.nu/3fte
  Replies (12) Good night (1317) Bad night (600)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Judging by this purple one they got to second base.

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  (520): They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up. (520): Judging by this purple one they got to second base. http://tfl.nu/efot
  Replies (3) Good night (1020) Bad night (448)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR

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  (781): THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR http://tfl.nu/6l4g
  Replies (7) Good night (1912) Bad night (533)

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