I think I just saw someone hide a body.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
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You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.