even my farts smell like vagina
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.