What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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