How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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