Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
dude. I can hear the air.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
