I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
