Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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