Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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