Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
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The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
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I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.