he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I want to fling myself into the sun