margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?