I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
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I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
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He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.