Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(812): View more from Indiana

I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!

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(812): I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah! http://tfl.nu/iijo

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(916): View more from California

Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.

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(916): Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life. http://tfl.nu/lqwm

Replies (17) Good night (1147) Bad night (3389)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Say it nicely.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?

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(303): Say it nicely. (1-303): Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy? http://tfl.nu/5ned

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(305): View more from Florida

Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.

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(305): Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level. http://tfl.nu/s74q

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.

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(832): Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse. http://tfl.nu/qyce

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(317): View more from Indiana

Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.

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(317): Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy. http://tfl.nu/mg1s

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(773): View more from Illinois

I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.

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(773): I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit. http://tfl.nu/2ngx

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(281): View more from Texas

In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.

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(281): In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight. http://tfl.nu/l97c

Replies (7) Good night (2223) Bad night (1426)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?

(1-701): View more from North Dakota

No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"

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(701): Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..? (1-701): No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup" http://tfl.nu/9q23

Replies (1) Good night (1578) Bad night (745)
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(585): View more from New York

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm

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(585): Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm http://tfl.nu/bhwz

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(858): View more from California

I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though

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(858): I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though http://tfl.nu/pek1

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(239): View more from Florida

Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.

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(239): Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance. http://tfl.nu/mqe0

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(909): View more from California

Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"

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(909): Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead" http://tfl.nu/uxql

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(303): View more from Colorado

My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.

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(303): My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you. http://tfl.nu/ugo1

Replies (19) Good night (570) Bad night (1322)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.

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(702): Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet. http://tfl.nu/3amu

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