i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off