Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
