Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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