singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
