I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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