They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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