She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
